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Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts

Thursday, July 19

America’s War on Sex [Podcast]


The Humanist Hour #75

Editor's Note: Though we recommend subscribing to our podcast using a program like iTunes, you can start listening right now, using the player below, or by downloading the audio file directly. (right/option click > save as)
A new episode of the Humanist Hour is available for listening. Keep reading to find out about the guests on this month’s show.
In this month’s podcast, Jes and Todd interview Marty Klein, Ph.D., who suggests a humanist approach to healthy sexuality.

America’s War on Sex with Marty Klein Ph.D.

Dr. Marty Klein has been a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Certified Sex Therapist for 31 years. He has aimed his entire career toward a single set of goals: telling the truth about sexuality, helping people feel sexually adequate & powerful, and supporting the healthy sexual expression and exploration of women and men.
Marty pursues his goal of a sexually enlightened world through therapy, lectures, writing, lobbying, media, and forensic (courtroom) work.
Marty has authored over 100 articles in publications such as Parents, New Woman, and Playboy, as well as San Francisco Medicine, the California Therapist, and the Journal of Homosexuality. He is a former contributing editor to The New Physician, American Baby, and Modern Bride, and he is quoted every year in dozens of national publications and websites, such as The New Yorker and Huffington Post.

Links from this month’s episode:

Marty Klein
Todd’s been busy online:

Music from this month’s episode (in order of appearance):

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Tuesday, July 3

Study: Spanking May Lead to Mental Illness



Shows a link between nonabusive physical punishment and several types of mental disorders later in life.

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Parents hold the hands of their child in Hong Kong.
Photo by Ed Jones/AFP/Getty Images
Kids can cry all the way from the spank. All the way to depression, anxiety, and alcoholism.

Being spanked, slapped, pushed, or hit as a child, even when these punishments are not a part of full-scale maltreatment, are linked to an increased risk of mental illness in adulthood in a new study published in Pediatrics. Adults who reported undergoing such punishments, about 6 percent of respondents, had greater risks of mood disorders, anxiety disorders, alcohol and drug abuse and dependence, and several personality disorders. Up to 7 percent of instances of disorders covered in the study can be attributed to harsh physical punishment in childhood.

The study finds an association between the two, but, as HealthDay points out, it does not actually prove that one causes the other. Previous studies had shown a link between physical punishment and behavioral problems, but this one wanted to study the issue removing the more severe forms of physical and sexual abuse.
Males, blacks, and those from more educated and wealthier families were most likely to report harsh physical abuse. Data was adjusted to take into account socio-demographic factors and family histories of dysfunction.

Lead author Tracie Afifi recommends that physical punishment not be used on children of any age, and that positive parenting strategies be employed instead. Spanking, and other forms of physical punishment on children, is illegal in 32 countries, not including the United States. The American Academy of Pediatrics, however, officially discourages it.
Some experts, however, took issue with the study, insisting that spanking can be an appropriate way for parents to discipline their children when applied appropriately. One psychologist tells USA Today that the study "does nothing to move beyond correlations," noting that the child's perception of why the spanking took place as well as how and why parents resort to that form of punishment in the first place should be key concerns.
Close to 80 percent of American preschool children are spanked, according to a 2010 University of North Carolina study.

Sunday, June 10

The Bible's Vile Standards of Marriage


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Why no one should ever use the Bible as a blueprint for "traditional" marriage. 


 
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We all have in our mind’s eye the classic image of a preacher raising the Bible in hand and declaring that something is true because it is written in the Bible, the unchallengeable word of God. And, it is not just preachers. Lay people often spout the same attitude.

When commenting on some public issue, devout believers frequently write letters to the editor expressing their confidence in the Bible and its prescription for how that issue must be understood. If it is in the Bible, it must be true.
Yet, over the centuries, this attitude has led to advocacy of slavery, segregation of the races, subordination of women and corporal punishment for children. It was only when these Biblical teachings were set aside that justice prevailed.
The latest such challenge to Biblical fundamentalism is the debate about same-sex marriage. Those who continue to insist on Biblical standards say the Bible should be the final word on who should marry and how.
Many of those Biblical passages are found in the book of Leviticus, which prescribed religious practices of the ancient Israelites dating back several centuries before the birth of Christ. In Leviticus, the place of women – and the institution of marriage – is set out as a part of the property codes.
Women were property, and men were owners of women. Indeed, a man could own as many women as he could afford. Polygamy was the standard, not monogamy.
Men owned women in three categories: they owned wives; they owned concubines; and they owned slaves. All were available to the owner for his sexual use. Most of the women involved were little more than breeding stock. These standards were prevalent all over the Middle East and reflect Mesopotamian and Babylonian traditions.
Over the ensuing centuries, custom changed. While polygamy was allowed and was common, cultural pressures and standards evolved toward monogamy. One standard did not change, however. Women in Jesus’s day were still seen as property. Marriages were still arranged. A woman had no voice in acquiring a husband. A young woman was provided for marriage for what was deemed the best interests of her father.
During the times of Jesus, the life of many women in a poverty economy was precarious. A man could divorce a woman by declaring his freedom from her. The worst scenario for a woman was to have no owner at all.
Mary Magdalene and other so-called prostitutes who hung around Jesus were not prostitutes in a modern sense. They were vulnerable women who had no owner. Evidently Jesus accepted them and provided them with a level of protection and security. One of the criticisms of Jesus was that he associated with prostitutes.
To his credit, the Apostle Paul declared that in Christ there was no longer slave or free, male or female. In spite of the acceptance by Jesus and the declaration of Paul, the early church embraced and perpetuated patriarchal dominance and female submission.
The Leviticus standard of male ownership of wives continued in most of Christianity until the 20th Century. It now seems incredible that women in the United States did not have the vote until the 19th Amendment was adopted in 1920.
So, I scratch my head when I hear someone declare that we need to return to Biblical standards for marriage.
Diverse Standards
Around the world and within the United States, the understandings of marriage and marriage practices are hugely diverse. In that diversity, a new question has been inserted in the public discussion. Should two persons of the same sex be allowed to marry?
It is a subject that is never addressed in the Bible. It is a modern question that has evolved over the past 50 years. Because the Bible is a collection of ancient writings, I would not expect any of these writings to address a question that is so recent.
Today’s typical marriage between a man and a woman is clearly outside Biblical standards. Women are as active in choosing a mate as are men. Arranged marriages are no longer the norm. The marriage relationship is seen as a partnership, not an owner/client arrangement. Most Americans, whether religious or not, have happily rejected Biblical marriage.
But is there no standard for marriage that can be embraced in our modern world? I suspect that diversity of understandings eventually will win the day.
The need to formalize the attractions that we have for a loving companion will not go away. I like the simple formula that Darlene and I embraced. Before a small group of witnesses, we stood before a minister and spoke words to one another.
First, I said “I Howard take you Darlene to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health so long as we both shall live. To this I give you my promise.” Darlene responded by making the same promise to me. Thus, we were married.
The Bible’s standards seemed so very irrelevant.

Rev. Howard Bess is a retired American Baptist minister, who lives in Palmer, Alaska. His email address is hdbss@mtaonline.net.
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